Stupid Drivers, Smart Cars

The stupider drivers get, the smarter cars must become, if one subscribes to the EU version of our transportation future. Its Smart Vehicle Technology Quiz takes the driver through a series of 11 transportation technologies that attempt to compensate for bad driving. If you start to go to sleep while driving, the "Driver Drowsiness Monitoring and Warning System" will wake you up. It checks your heartbeat, eyelids and head position and sounds an alarm if you doze off. Drive too fast at night? Instead of the old idea of not overdriving your headlights, smart vehicle technology would equip you with a night vision system so you can see far off in the distance, travel at blinding speed without blinding oncoming drivers in your high beams. Drive too fast most of the time? Electronic obstacle and collision avoidance systems are for you. ABS, Electronic Brake Assist, Electronic Stability Control and Adaptive Cruise Control will keep the stupid driver out of trouble. And if all else fails, stupid's accident will be called in by his car -- using the EU's mandated eCall system -- along with his GPS coordinates.

These systems will save lives, because there are stupid drivers behind the wheel. Drivers who drink, text message, watch videos, drive too fast for conditions, tailgate, swerve in and out of lanes and so forth. But I don't like driving a car that's smarter than I am and that makes it OK to drive badly. We already have cars that park themselves because drivers are too lazy to learn to parallel park. The state protects us with mandatory seat-belt laws, mandatory motorcycle helmet laws, mandatory insurance etc.

The "freedom of the open road" may soon become just another train trip -- the car is in charge, and the former drivers are just along for the ride.